"poets may not notice when you are lost, but their poems know how to find you when you need them" - this rang so true to me and thank you for saying it <3 (no matter how badly it ended the time you posted it on the story... I still appreciate it and think it's true!)
Thank you :-) and I think on reflection the fact that poets have poems for nearly all occasions is the greatest way a poet can support others.. they may never know what their words meant to someone when they needed them most. What a gift to give !
Nodded my head all through this Lisa with a lump in my throat. That is so so true that it’s actually very hard to come to the place of calling yourself a ‘carer.’ It sneaks up on you as you gradually shed things from your life that aren’t ’essential.’ And the isolation is so huge and real.
To care is to practice patience
Lower expectations
Under the unbearable weight of securing a ‘package of care’
Hit send a bit soon! Love your poem - it’s so spot on. The admin and advocacy on top of the actual care is so heavy. Love to you and thank you so much for sharing this xxxxx
It is so hard when you are lost and wanting to be found, but not wanting to draw attention to yourself. When you retreat and no one seems to notice, or maybe they notice but don’t care. I find that hard. I have withdrawn more this year and no one noticed. And it hurt me, like I’m sure you are hurt. And yet I did it to myself. Wishing to be seen, longing to be found, hiding so they couldn’t.
I am cared for, and it’s taken me years to accept than my husband is my carer. He seems to just go with the flow, he used the word years before I did.
I hope you have the support you need too, carers need caring for as well. I know we don’t know each other well but I have ears and most days they work quite well, I can listen and make the right noises I believe.,
Thanks Tamsin. It’s so complex isn’t it the feelings that come with all of this. Even when I can see what I am doing to myself how to change things is still a puzzle. Sounds like your husband is a good man.
Lovely post Lisa, and great poem. I know a lot about loneliness and withdrawing from communities you once thought would hold you, and the hurt of not being missed is intense. I've been there, I am there. It also hurts that it's not just me, when I withdrew they assumed my husband was withdrawing too, and so, as my carer, he misses out and has lost the support he needs too. We manage, we're good just the two of us, but he needs it more than I do and I wish it wasn't so taboo to say "I'm lonely, please help"
"poets may not notice when you are lost, but their poems know how to find you when you need them" - this rang so true to me and thank you for saying it <3 (no matter how badly it ended the time you posted it on the story... I still appreciate it and think it's true!)
Thank you :-) and I think on reflection the fact that poets have poems for nearly all occasions is the greatest way a poet can support others.. they may never know what their words meant to someone when they needed them most. What a gift to give !
Nodded my head all through this Lisa with a lump in my throat. That is so so true that it’s actually very hard to come to the place of calling yourself a ‘carer.’ It sneaks up on you as you gradually shed things from your life that aren’t ’essential.’ And the isolation is so huge and real.
To care is to practice patience
Lower expectations
Under the unbearable weight of securing a ‘package of care’
There will be endless admin and questionnaires
For services that may not exist
Hit send a bit soon! Love your poem - it’s so spot on. The admin and advocacy on top of the actual care is so heavy. Love to you and thank you so much for sharing this xxxxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. I think I needed to write this one.
It is so hard when you are lost and wanting to be found, but not wanting to draw attention to yourself. When you retreat and no one seems to notice, or maybe they notice but don’t care. I find that hard. I have withdrawn more this year and no one noticed. And it hurt me, like I’m sure you are hurt. And yet I did it to myself. Wishing to be seen, longing to be found, hiding so they couldn’t.
I am cared for, and it’s taken me years to accept than my husband is my carer. He seems to just go with the flow, he used the word years before I did.
I hope you have the support you need too, carers need caring for as well. I know we don’t know each other well but I have ears and most days they work quite well, I can listen and make the right noises I believe.,
Thanks Tamsin. It’s so complex isn’t it the feelings that come with all of this. Even when I can see what I am doing to myself how to change things is still a puzzle. Sounds like your husband is a good man.
Lovely post Lisa, and great poem. I know a lot about loneliness and withdrawing from communities you once thought would hold you, and the hurt of not being missed is intense. I've been there, I am there. It also hurts that it's not just me, when I withdrew they assumed my husband was withdrawing too, and so, as my carer, he misses out and has lost the support he needs too. We manage, we're good just the two of us, but he needs it more than I do and I wish it wasn't so taboo to say "I'm lonely, please help"