Let's start again

Read on to see me get back to poetry

Hello again

If you are one of my paid subscribers, you may have noticed that I paused subscriptions for a few months, and sent you a personal message to tell you this. This pause is now over as I get back to writing here. Thank you so much for your support.

My last handful of posts have indicated sadness in grief. I have also shared some, now archived, instagram posts on a similar theme. It is the most vulnerable emotion and experience I have ever been through. I shared, and I say this without shame, wanting sympathy. Wanting people to say ‘so sorry for your loss’. That happened. That helped. But once the algorithm stopped sharing it I did not like the feeling of that level of vulnerability in my saddest moments being online. It is a strange way to share grief as unless people happen to be online and not in dead-eyed doom scrolling state if they are they may not actually know the news. And of course it is the most important news in my own world but online the majority of people are passing acquaintances who wouldn’t know from actually knowing me. Cold DM’s asking me to like something of theirs left me even colder. Like, have you even looked at my page before sending me your message? It is nice to see life goes on I guess. The hustle of the algorithm, of being seen.

Leaving my grief online made me feel lonelier with it. I also don’t need the algorithm to lead me to more content on that theme. I am pretty good at feeling sad anyway on my own terms. I can at least archive the part I shared online. In real life it hits in the strangest most unexpected places. Sometimes on the sites of happy memories, sometimes in places that you cannot believe hold any emotional weight. Like the closing of a (not great but accessible) cafe we always used to go to. Its closure a jolt that I cannot sit there anymore. And if I could I would still feel sad there. A true conundrum.

I accept this kind of feeling will live within me as I get the privilege of continuing on in this life. I also have learned an important lesson about what I am comfortable in sharing with the world right now.

So let me share some poetry news with you, which is probably why you followed an account called ‘Poems & That’ in the first place.

Just before Christmas I got some exciting news that I had been shortlisted by the Black Cat Poetry Press for potential publication. If you follow my notes you will have seen me get prematurely excited thinking shortlisting meant publication, having been longlisted earlier in the year but missed out on being on the published shortlist. I was quickly corrected by a fellow shortlist and felt temporarily very silly indeed but still utterly delighted. It was a real boost to end the year on. Fast forward to week one of 2026, I am even more delighted to be on the 2027 publishing list!

This means I will share a book with two other wonderful poets, which is a really lovely opportunity to showcase my work with a fantastic small press. I submitted to their pamphlet call out in early October, and was contacted in November to provide a full copy of the manuscript, making the shortlist in December.

I am really proud of the poems submitted and look forward to sharing them with the world through such a great press. I always love the quality of their books. Both in terms of content and production. I am thrilled to have that opportunity.

Since I self published the collection of my ‘first 5 years’ of poetry ‘Proving I Exist’ my writing style is starting to evolve and mature. I am wanting to dig digger. Get braver with how I write my poems and what stories I want to tell. I attended some online courses last year that helped me find new ways of writing and new ways into stories. I hope to find time in 2026 to do more workshopping with others and developing a lot of notes I kept over 2025. Being encouraged to step back and look at the work in new lights is something I really valued from the courses I have been able to attend so far. If you have any tips for courses (online or IRL) do let me know of them. The ones I did were with Kate Ireland, Rose Condo , Apples and Snakes and Write like a Grrlll.

I also hope to get back to performing so will be writing more with that in mind, and I am excited about learning a new poem for the purpose of performance. More of this to follow. I will be seeking out a few more chances to perform and I do have an exciting one to announce hopefully soon.

In the meantime, here is a photo of an impromptu performance recently at Ty Pawb in Wrexham. In preparation for Wrexham’s bid for the City of Culture 2029 the Bid team are doing a series of community conversations, in different settings and different communities, canvassing as many voices as possible about what they would love as part of the programme and it’s legacy. This one was a ‘Arty Farty Christmas Party’ and was a lovely mix of conversation and the best karaoke I have ever heard. The local poetry night (Voicebox) host was leading part of the conversation and invited me up to perform. Luckily I had one in my head and it is one that I know makes people laugh so was a good poem for the room we were in. It had been a big deal just getting out of the house to be there and to get that little moment to let my inner poet shine was a true Christmas treat. I will also be writing more about the Wrexham bid as I have volunteered as one of their advisers. Not as a poet, but using the skills of my day job (sorry if you were under illusion I am making a full time living from poetry, although it does help me to live a better life.). My day job involves numbers, form filling, admin, spreadsheets, report writing. And behind every big cultural programme someone needs to help with all that and I have offered what I can there, with the heart of someone who knows creativity and culture is something that belongs to everyone.

The other reason the poem was in my head is that, as well as it being one of the ones I love performing the most (I did it at the Wirral Poetry Slam) but I also had very recently performed it as part of my role in Young Poet’s Week to launch the Young Poet Laureate programme across England. That experience deserves a post of its own, so I will leave that as a cliffhanger for a future post.