How to pause without stopping

I last wrote when I ‘gave up’ on the write a poem a day in April challenge. ‘NaPoWriMo’ I haven’t stopped writing but I also have not ‘finished’ any single poem since.

That is more normal than writing a finished product daily. Finding time to write isn’t always easy and daily isn’t especially achievable. I have read a few books about how to be a better artist/writer and all of them encourage doing something every day. Even if it is bad. A journal. A doodle. Something may emerge from the dross. Dross should be expected. I also have realised in trying this approach, themes emerge. But for anything ‘good’ to emerge I need space, time away from the page for the idea to grow a little and then come back to it. Reading more widely also helps me. So, time not writing is vital to what these fancy books tells me is my ‘writing practice.’

I have joined an online writing group which has made me think of a number of ideas, stumble on nice lines I want to work around and hopefully grow a new poem from. This is nice as I am with a group of other people and seeing how they develop work from the same prompts and grow in confidence with their work is a joy to be part of.

Reject to redirect

I also saw a trickle of more rejections from various competitions I have entered this year come through this week. I have also submitted some more. One poem submitted is one that I had been writing over a number of weeks on the theme. However, just before I submitted it I realised that the theme was ever so slightly different than I realised so I had to make more final edits than I was expecting to and I ended up submitting it with 2 minutes before the deadline. I enjoyed the rush of trying to salvage what I had written to date and found some new lines I loved in that process. And now I wait a few months to see if it will ever see the light of day.

Ditching digital

Until 2025 all my poetry was written with a different audience in mind than competitions. Open mic, fringe. festivals, and I definitely wrote work with the specific aim of sharing online too. Some of which would be ‘reactive’ poems on the topic of the week/day. Such poems are like digital waste paper - they only mean anything in the context of the time they are written in and sharing immediately is where the connection comes from. Some I would record as videos. I don’t do this as much as I don’t have the luxury of time to not only record the work, but to make myself look presentable for the videos.

Ch-ch-changes

As I can’t see myself performing poetry for a while, how I write is changing. It needs to be for the page right now. I also find that focussing on submitting poems to competitions etc means I am also writing in a different way. Sometimes the theme takes a while for me to warm to. Nearly everything I write is something I would not otherwise write without the prompt of that theme. On occasion, the writing becomes more of a labour than one of love.

I am realising that I thrive most when I playing with a story I want to tell. Whether a story of my own, or one I have observed. So maybe I need to shift my focus in a different direction, and focus on that instead of the hopeful validation of competition/publication selection.

Girl turn your records on

I also gravitate to poems and lyrics that tell a story in an incredibly personal unique way. Just this week Self Esteem and Kae Tempest have released new music that lean heavily towards spoken word and storytelling. I adore how honest and powerful they tell their stories. Both can conjure up such huge emotion within minutes. They create genuine works of art and deliver masterclasses in the sacred grail of ‘authenticity’ and connection by the bucketloads.

Kae’s latest track features a clip of their younger self and it is hugely powerful. Kae digs so deep to tell a story of constantly finding a route through a life where finding more about themselves is a constantly evolving and not always easy story. I am a decade older than Kae and I keep learning more about myself, and I look back at younger parts of myself and am only starting to make sense of them now. I feel I have some poems and stories in there if I am brave enough to dig deep enough.

Listen and watch

I have also been massively enjoying the videos shared by the London based spoken word Spit Nights, which have been introducing me, virtually, to some incredible spoken word artists. The one thing all the poets share is a huge capacity to be vulnerable, honest with a splash of humour. I love watching their clips. I love reading and watching work that makes me want to write better. To keep going - but in a way that works for me.

Thank you for reading this edition of Poems and That about the things I learn about life through writing and sharing poetry. My collection Proving I Exist is available on Books.by , all profits go to Choose Love and Refuge.