My ‘about’ page for substack reads as follows:
Join me as I write about what I have learned and am still learning from beginning my creative life in my 40s. Taking risks, saying yes, saying no, varying degrees of success* meeting people, gaining fresh perspectives.
* Whatever that means. My own definition changes daily
I am not sure if I am delivering on this, it was just something that felt legitimate to write about. I didn't just want to write poems here. I wanted to share something that may have a wider interest, but I wasn’t sure what that would be when I drafted my ‘about’ page.
In reality, I end up writing what I feel like and this week I feel like writing about the subject of connection. Since making my world a bit bigger by sharing my words I am increasingly fascinated by the theme of connection. I adored Kae' Tempest’s book ‘On Connection’ and I will often go back to it. I will read parts to non poets and they instantly ‘get it’. I have referenced it in poetry workshops that I have been lucky enough to host and I am filled with joy when I hear back the words they inspire others to write.
They say nothing is ever really truly new, but the spark of realising you have something in common with someone, never gets old. Especially if you weren’t out looking for that connection.
The more I do new things, the more I see that the bigger I make my world, the smaller it becomes. A thread of commonality seeps through it all. The best part is you don’t have to have everything in common to connect. And different parts of you will connect with different people. We can turn up and down the dials on different parts of our personalities / knowledge / experience depending on who we are talking to.
Recently at work I have been part of a book club and I am reading more than I have for a long time. Sometimes we are reading books I would never have picked for myself. But the fact I can connect with other people better because of the book is as much of a reward as reading the book. It’s the ‘what did you think about x’. It’s reading each others Goodreads comments when we are done. It is being relieved when someone else doesn’t like it. It’s feeling it is easier to chat to someone at the printer now you have something in common. It is being able to talk about that book to people you don’t work with. It’s not just about the book. Connection is rarely just about the one thing.
In no particular order I connected with people I didn’t expect to in the last 7 days over:
Weather reports - an absolute classic of the genre. A colleague was forecast ‘gusty winds’ at their house, whilst I was getting a ‘fresh breeze’. Read in a dramatic tone from the BBC website we bonded over laughter.
Someone mentioned a podcast by the author of a book I am reading that reminded them of me! They had no idea I had the book.
A story about where I used to live sparked a story of epic proportions from someone I had only just met.
Going back to a women’s network I set up in 2016, as someone who is now on the outside looking in. I was not even thinking of creativity in 2016. But I read them poems and people bought copies for charity. A charity I had volunteered with in 2018.
I did a new open mic as the only spoken word performer whilst everyone else was an acoustic guitar singer/songwriter. The host had shared a link to my only ever bandcamp release in the social media promotion and someone bought a copy after seeing me perform. I tweeted about it and someone else bought a copy.
Connection is something you can create. You can create more of it and on a good day it feels limitless. You may find it in failure or success, sharing stories of our past or our plans, on silly or serious matters.
The more things you say out loud the more chance there is you will find someone who says ‘me too'. Stories shared ripple back to you. Sometimes immediately, sometimes eventually. Sharing poetry is inherently about connection. Reading and listening to it is too. Turning up in person to hear it. Listening to it on a radio show or podcast, or on social media connects you to emotions, memories, images, ideas and perspectives.
I am writing this to connect. I am reading other sub stacks to connect. I realise that even though I started this post by thinking I haven't been writing about what I have learned from sharing my writing, I am ending it realising that I only ever write to connect. And through that connection I learn more about myself and the world around me than I ever could hope if I did not share any of it.
How to make your world smaller
This is a beautiful little essay. You made my day brighter! Would love to hear you read On Connection by Kae Tempest