When I started writing it was a solo sport. It was one that ultimately craved an audiences eyes and or ears, but the creative element was between my brain and the nearest note pad/app.
The idea of working with other people seemed remote for a few reasons. Initially it did not occur to me. I probably couldn’t begin to imagine a world where anyone would want to work with me creatively. It was also too early for it to click with me how much you learn from other people and how that could be helpful and just nice and less lonely.
An insight into my inner monologue would have been:
What if?…they hated what I wrote. And told me. And broke my shaky self confidence before I had created any self confidence in my work?
What if ?… they stole my ideas. Or worse, made them better than I ever could and I felt bad or worse, jealous about that.
What if? … they completely misconstrued my intention to the point I could no longer be comfortable in recognising my part in the work.
What if?… everything took too long via committee and I lost the buzz I get from sharing work.
Oh hold on, did I just express and interest in sharing? Interesting I should want to share outwards but not into the creative process itself.
But mainly what all those ifs are expressing is fear of judgement. And all art will be judged. Firstly and probably most fiercely by the artist but if you plan on sharing even a glimpse then that fear is going to have be…. not overcome, but part of the ride.
So if judgement is part of the process too well a little bit of feedback starts to feel really helpful actually. It just shifts the workload of the fear around.
The first type of collaboration I think I tried was fairly safe. It was the practice of ekphrastic poetry on a website called Visual Verse. Each month they would release a new image to respond to and I loved it. It got me writing in completely different ways and I loved reading the other responses people created. The poems would not exist without the artist and the team who curated the online content. My part was as responsive participant, but it was a step beyond just writing based on my own life or subjects that inspired me.
When I started to produce my own shows the power of collaboration became even more apparent. Venues, tech, poster design and production, rehearsal spaces, work in progress events. But still the creative process of ‘my show’ was very much a solo activity until I presented it to the world and learned what worked well and what needed more work to work better. Being published is a collaboration with the editor of the publication. But mainly my role is submitting work and keeping fingers crossed and then a bit of promotion around the launch of the publication. I still don’t think this hits the fullest definition of collaboration.
Running workshops has been collaborative in listening to the needs of the client (schools, libararies, workplaces and festivals) and in the moment of the workshops.
But the real breakthrough in true collaboration came in late 2022 (3 years in to writing poetry) when I worked with the artist Emma Evans on her show Tales of Manchester. I wrote about the experience of seeing a poem be transformed into a painting before here. But what happened next is another incredible story.
Following the event I started performing the poem I created for Emma to paint at various poetry events and it went down a storm, regularly moving people to tears. But it was once I started performing it away from just poetry crowds it came into a life of its own. Performing alongside musicians made people really pay attention, one of my favourites being a YouTube recording for Mancunia TV that never ended up being put online. I remember several people running up and hugging me saying they’d never heard anything like it before with tears in their eyes, of all sorts of ages.
I wanted to submit the poem somewhere special but just kept it as a performance piece until I saw the right opportunity. I saw that opportunity in the summer of 2023 when BBC Introducing were looking for emerging spoken word artists and poets for their BBC Words First Talent Development Scheme. It was the first time the age cap of 30 had been lifted so I went for it but didn’t have high hopes, assuming a much younger and cooler poet would be chosen. But a few months later I got an email to say I had a place on the development scheme and 8 of the 16 in the scheme may also get a chance to perform at the BBC Contains Strong Language festival.
We were coached on writing, editing and performance by some brilliant poets and I learned so much from them and the other poets in the sessions. I filled 3 notepads with ideas that grew, some will grow and some will not. But I got braver in my style of writing and more serious in how I perform. After the end of the sessions we had to submit another poem on video to show what we had produced as a result of the workshops and to decide which poets to make it into the finalist line up for BBC Contains Strong Language festival, the annual poetry festival run by the BBC. To my utter amazement and delight, especially given the talent in the scheme, I was lucky enough to be chosen.
Our performances at the festival were recorded and then given to the sound designers taking part in the BBC Sounds First talent development scheme who then layered in textural sounds to the recordings to elevate them even further. These elevated versions were played on BBC Radio 3 last month which is a moment of collaboration that I could not have dreamed of when I decided to reclaim my creativity 5 years ago.
I have since worked again with Emma Evans on her show Tales of Manchester 2.0, which is currently exhibiting at the Kimpton Clocktower Hotel in Manchester. The launch event was a masterclass in collaboration, with six poets performing, Emma revealing the paintings of each of their poems, incredible music from Chris Massey and the drinks by the event sponsors, Manchester Union brewery and the PR team bringing together over 100 guests. It was a joy to be part of and the paintings and poems are on display until June if you want to see the work in real life. I wonder if this poem will take me on any more adventures like the last one did. I have already performed it once at a venue I never imagined performing in, the Band on the Wall (in another collaboration with the venue with the spoken word night that I co-host Verbose *1) to a really warm reception. And isn’t the best collaboration the one with the audience when it works?
Art without others is still valid art but art with others is something I cannot recommend highly enough.
Another masterclass in collaboration that deserves its own post so I will save that for another post.
Wow! What a great and inspiring story! Congratulations--not just for being chosen, but for being brave enough to put yourself out there.
Ice ice baby.
Ah,your what ifs resonate with me deeply. I may one day move beyond them.